About the Founder: ~Anababy~

                                                              11-06-08

Stats:

cw: 89 lbs                                                  

lw: 73 lbs

BMI: 15.8

I have been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa by so many doctors and so many times I honestly cannot count... its been over two decades and I have been IP over two dozen times, and most recently re-diagnosed two weeks ago and am starting a six month round of Cognitive Behavorial Therapy (CBT) with an Anorexia specialist in a year-long program, however the therapy lasts only for 28 weeks.  It starts in a few weeks.  I am nervous I have an intake on the 17th of November and the weeky weigh-in's begin.... gah... :(

I am a runner (distance) and love yoga, (and martial arts) was quite advanced with my yoga pratice, or serious, I should say...but had to stop due to health reasons (for this past year but hope to return someday) :( 

I love to write poetry and study eastern philosophies and religions, meditation, art, psychology and photgraphy. I also love to travel.

Of course I am interested in food, weight and body issues, and am a heavy restricter and over-exerciser and have sustained many injuries related to my "sport" running mainly or martial arts.. .which have lead to casts, braces and surgeries. I am trying to let up on that so I can heal more quickly and run more!!!

My body is starting to show the stresses of two decades of Anorexia. I just spent the last six months repairing my teeth, yes, Anorexics lose teeth too from malnoutrition and I avoided it barely, thankfully!! My heart is under stress and I have to see a cardiologist next month and my primary care physician had me do an EKG last visit after I described a frightening incident a few weeeks ago because he thought I had quite likley had sustained a heart attack. 

So I do not think my Anorexia is "glamorous" or view myself as a role model, nor would I wish this hell on anyone else. That is why The Red Bracelet is accepting of people with pre-existing eating disorders, but not a glittery "Pro-Ana" kind of site.... I have lost too many friends, been in too many hospitals and suffered too many years to think its a "chosen" life style... its a life-style, an illness and addiction, call it a life-style one that grabbed me by the throat and sweapt through spirit like a brush fire charring my mind and body and it took up residence for twenty years and chose me. Now, I have choices in getting help of recovery or staying ill. Right now this is what I have... so I choose Pro-reality... which is what The Red Bracelet is all about: -Allowing people in all states of their Eating Disorders be it active illness or full recovery to come together to support one another from a place of understanding and accpetance in community on the RB Fourum. 

I just know sometimes we need to be allowed to "just be" where we are without the pressure of "trying to recover" (especially for someone else) or being called intermibalable and "failing" if we are stuck in that all too familiar place of ambivalence, that seems to characterize so many "lifers" (or longer term and short term strugglers with ED) struggling with eating disorders all along the myriad of clinical and non-clinical criterion of diagnostics...which by the way are all equal in the mental anguish of reality of body dismorphic thoughts and obsessions.

So with that not so upbeat introduction, I say, I do hope the utmost best for all the poeple this site reaches, directly or indirectly, and please know that as much as you need us, we need you... so thank you for you support, respect and contributions!

Love,

~Anababy~

****NOTE: 10/09

I have been in recovery for a few months and am maintaining a healthy weight. I have trained for a marathon.... and I ran it sucessfully! 26.2 miles!! ;-D